How Abuse Escalates

Rarely does abuse remain at one level of intensity. Over time, it tends to increase in its severity and/or frequency. We see this escalation in King Saul's abuse of David:

1 Samuel 18:2 Control through isolation
1 Samuel 18:8-9 Paranoid jealousy; anger
1 Samuel 18:10-11 Attacking with weapon
1 Samuel 18:25 Secretly arranging David's death
1 Samuel 19:1 Publicly announces death warrant
1 Samuel 23:8 Sending an army to hunt and kill David

Psychologists have developed a scale called "The Continuum of Violence" to show how abuse grows over time. This scale lists abusive actions, starting with the less severe, and progressing to extreme abuse and death. The escalation of abuse might be so gradual that it is difficult for the victim to see what is happening until the abuse has become quite severe. Or she may learn to cope and accept it, becoming numbed to the signs of danger.

Without intervention and specialized help, abuse will rarely cease on its own. Often it worsens over time, becoming more severe and/or more frequent. Many abusers find that wanting or promising to stop is not enough. With specialized domestic violence programs, hard work, commitment, and accountability, some abusers can change their behavior.

It is important to understand that the behaviors listed on the Continuum of Violence scale are called sin in the Bible. It is no wonder that abuse tends to escalate, since sin is a slippery slope that leads to destruction. Praise God that we have a Savior who can change hearts and renew the minds of those who are willing to humble themselves before him, sincerely repent, and turn from their evil ways.

Discussion Questions:

If you think about an abusive relationship you experienced, you might be able to see how the abuse worsened over time. In what ways did the abuse escalate?
Can you spot any of Saul's actions on the Continuum of Violence scale?
What level of violence on the scale have you experienced in a relationship?