HOW
ABUSE ESCALATES
Rarely does abuse remain at the same level of severity.
Over time, it tends to increase in its intensity and/or
frequency. We see this escalation in King Saul’s abuse of David:
1 Samuel 18:2
Control through isolation
1 Samuel 18:8-9
Paranoid jealousy; anger
1 Samuel 18:10-11
Attacking with weapon
1 Samuel 18:25
Secretly arranging David’s death
1 Samuel 19:1
Publicly announces death warrant
1 Samuel 23:8
Sending an army to stalk and kill David
Psychologists have developed a scale called The
Continuum of Violence to show how abuse grows over time (found
on page 10). This scale lists abusive actions, starting with the less
severe, and progressing to extreme abuse and death.
The escalation of abuse might be so gradual that it is difficult
for the victim to see what is happening until the abuse has become quite
severe. Or she may learn to
cope and accept it, becoming numbed to the signs of danger.
Without intervention and specialized help, abuse will rarely cease on
its own. Often it worsens
over time, becoming more severe and/or more frequent.
Many abusers find that wanting or promising to stop is not
enough. With specialized
domestic violence programs, hard work, commitment, and accountability,
some abusers can change their behavior.
It is important to understand that the behaviors listed on the Continuum
of Violence scale are called sin in
the Bible.
It is no wonder that abuse tends to escalate, since sin is a
slippery slope that leads to destruction.
Praise God that we have a Savior who can change hearts and renew
the minds of those who will humble themselves before him, sincerely
repent, and turn from their evil ways.
Discussion Questions:
1.
If you think about an abusive relationship you
experienced, you might be able to see how the abuse worsened over time.
In what ways did the abuse escalate?
2.
Can you spot any of Saul’s actions on the Continuum of
Violence scale?
3.
What level of violence on the scale have you experienced
in a relationship?
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